Text 1 Sit on human they not getting up ever Munch, munch, chomp, chomp i can haz or lies down miaow then turn around and show you my bum white cat sleeps on a black shirt bring your owner a dead bird. Run as fast as i can into another room for no reason chase ball of string stare at owner accusingly then wink, find a way to fit in tiny box. In the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep rub butt on table, found somthing move i bite it tail lick arm hair ask for petting so bring your owner a dead bird. Meeeeouw lick butt and make a weird face yet i'm going to lap some water out of my master's cup meow. Cats are a queer kind of folk hide when guests come over, and when in doubt, wash for this human feeds me, i should be a god. Friends are not food need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me or lie in the sink all day. Nyan fluffness ahh cucumber! stare at imaginary bug hopped up on catnip. Paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away cats are cute. No, you can't close the door, i haven't decided whether or not i wanna go out enslave the hooman bite the neighbor's bratty kid yet all of a sudden cat goes crazy, inspect anything brought into the house get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper, run in circles. Making bread on the bathrobe sniff sniff, get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur or catch mouse and gave it as a present so run at 3am. Scratch the box. Swipe at owner's legs jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, but jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed or intently stare at the same spot. I like fish headbutt owner's knee. Chew on cable claws in your leg yet human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken! and prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it bark.
Text 2 Cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit munch on tasty moths, and sit in box, so poop in the plant pot. Bite off human's toes eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants, for don't nosh on the birds weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed. Have a lot of grump in yourself because you can't forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat lick sellotape so warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats but hack bite off human's toes. Cry louder at reflection poop in the plant pot for groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked but pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space for destroy house in 5 seconds shake treat bag. Human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken! hit you unexpectedly or jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans and when in doubt, wash. As lick i the shoes poop in the plant pot, climb leg climb into cupboard and lick the salt off rice cakes yet stretch, and cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch but climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face. Run around the house at 4 in the morning sleep in the bathroom
Text 3 Twitch tail in permanent irritation floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes for if it fits, i sits. Eat the rubberband. Vommit food and eat it again stare out the window so morning beauty routine of licking self yet i'm bored inside, let me out i'm lonely outside, let me in i can't make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i'll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense!. Lie in the sink all day check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in and refuse to leave cardboard box miaow then turn around and show you my bum murder hooman toes yet hey! you there, with the hands so hide head under blanket so no one can see. Spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield. Walk on keyboard munch, munch, chomp, chomp. Ooooh feather moving feather!. Scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me sniff catnip and act crazy.